5 things for friday
on standing tall and staying open. plus: my new favorite spring shoe, sheet-pan miso radishes (!), a wild and weird book, and more.
happy friday, friends!
is this a full on tulip stan account now? do we care? i for one am DELIGHTED that spring has finally shown up for real here in new york. if you live here and are even remotely active on the internet, you’ve probably seen the memes that poke fun at the fact that new york actually has not 4 seasons, but 15. there’s fool’s spring. there’s second winter. there’s spring of deception, then third winter, then the pollening. we’ve been knee deep in the pollening over the past few weeks, but finally, we have made it to actual spring. and my god, does it feel good. the tulips you see here are the ones that sprout up every spring in my building’s courtyard. when they reach this phase, they always remind me of the ones in alice in wonderland (one of my favorite disney movies, and favorite stories, period give me a ‘boom ba boom boom’-singing dahlia any day of the week!).
as alice says, you can learn a lot of things from the flowers. if i’m to learn anything from the ones ringing my courtyard fountain, it’s to stand tall, and stay open. to reach higher than anyone expects you to—than perhaps even you yourself expect you to—and to show you messy, beating heart to anyone who’s willing to see the beauty inside. i buy plenty of cut tulips at the grocery store, but there are none as beautiful to me, as wild and free, as the ones pictured here. i love you, tulip season!
speaking of standing tall and staying open: i read two pieces yesterday that made me cry. the first was this glamour cover article, written by sophia bush, about her year of heartbreak and coming into herself. i’ve long been a fan of the actress and activist (she’s one of my favorite follows on social media, and i love her work in progress podcast), and i was thrilled to click into the cover story and find that sophia herself had written (she is an incredible writer; i keep waiting for her to write a book!). though sophia’s story differs greatly from mine in just about every way possible (she’s a famous actress, i’m a regular person; her piece is about leaving her marriage, i left my job), i so resonated with this quote, about her body telling her what her mind didn’t want to hear.
But the book doesn’t lie. The body does, in fact, keep the score. When half of our company went down with a virus, everyone recovered fast except for me. I continued to decline…It was clear that my body was screaming and I had to listen. It was hard for me to accept. I was part of a team.
it’s almost like we’ve been conditioned to keep quiet. to play small. to talk ourselves down. oh wait, we have! which brings me to the second piece, which a friend shared with me yesterday afternoon.
i did, indeed, stop what i was doing and read it. and then i texted her to say that i was crying (of course i was). because i had gotten to this part, where brooke talks about the dissolution of her relationship with her executive producer (morning show fans, think: the chet baker to her bradley jackson)
I got into a bad habit. I never picked up the phone and said something—like really said something. Not to him. And I didn’t report up the chain of command. I was the good girl. Good girls smile, are grateful for our jobs, and keep our mouths shut. We definitely don’t speak up.
i don’t want to spoil the article for you, but i’d like to suggest that you read it. whether it’s a work relationship, a platonic relationship, a romantic relationship—i would venture that many if not all of us have had a moment in which we have kept our mouths shut when we wanted to scream. where we fell into line, because what else were we supposed to do? where we let things slide, even though our insides were screaming (and then, to sophia’s point above, our bodies took a beating). after reading, i sent it to my parents, who i thought would also appreciate it.
my mom (who is a retired physician; who was BELOVED by her patients, so much so that she still can’t go anywhere in town without someone stopping to say hi) responded late last night, saying:
great article. i have to admit i spent most of my life trying to be the good girl and i hated that part of myself. i think i might be over most of it since retiring. thanks for sending it. on the other hand, i think you have been much clearer about seeing what’s going on and sticking up for yourself. what a gift to be only 38 instead of 65.
and it’s true, isn’t it? sure, i wish i had seen the signs sooner. i wish i’d been braver, louder, more empowered. but what a gift to be 38 instead of 65! per usual, my mamas are the source of eternal wisdom.
these pieces, they come to me at an auspicious time. as you know, despite what my anxiety has been telling me, i’ve not just been twiddling my thumbs in my unemployment era. i’ve been writing like crazy, as well as interviewing and applying for a new full time job. and as i begin to get closer to solidifying my next step (which will take me, for now at least, back into corporate america), it’s a good reminder that i need to tread carefully. that the people and the relationships are the most important part of the work. exciting brands and big salaries and shiny opportunities to grow—all of those things are well and good. but they are a temporary happiness. and i’m looking for the real thing.
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and now for our 5 fun things!
after my banner podcast week last week, this week has proven lighter on the podcast front. mostly because i’ve been knee-deep in audiobooks, which naturally take listening time away from pods. but i did listen to this one while prepping dinner earlier this week, and it reminded me just how much i love the bowery boys, a new york history podcast that’s been around for a decade and never ceases to delight me. this week’s episode took us to flushing, queens—an area many non-new yorkers have likely never even heard of. flushing is home to the city’s largest chinatown, as well as a long history that includes the 1964 world’s fair, a series of hollywood films, and—long ago—a type of religious freedom not seen in any of the other neighboring colonies. this is a great listen for a long walk or car ride. i never appreciated history class in high school, but i do appreciate the BBs.
the first review visible for this book on goodreads says: “took an edible and read this and it blew my mind.” with a review like that, how could i not read it?! i’ve been on a reading streak lately, flying through books at the speed of light (i generally have one or two on my kindle and one on audible at any given time!), and this one was no different. unlike the reviewer above, i did not take an edible before i dove in, but even without THC, this book blew my mind. i generally read for two reasons (one or the other, sometimes both): to be validated in my reality/experience, or to escape my reality/experience. this book was more of the latter, a dark and twisty, speculative story that seems normal until you get to the (insane!) twist.
anisa dreams of being a translator of great works of literature, but she mostly spends her time subtitling bollywood films and living off her trust fund. meanwhile, her average white boyfriend, adam, has successfully leveraged a decidedly above average aptitude for languages into an enviable and prolific career. when adam learns urdu practically overnight in an attempt to impress anisa and her parents, she forces him to tell her his secret. and so he introduces her to the centre. what is the centre, you ask? an elite, secret language school that is not what it seems.
i really enjoyed this, and wish someone would adapt it for TV! it’s probs too dark for reese, but whoever did gillian flynn’s adaptations should dig in.
ps: if you’re a big reader, follow me on goodreads! i try and rank/save every book i read (and i read about 50-60 a year!)
yesterday, while walking back up allen street from my run, i noticed a series of giant billboards advertising a new hulu show starring lily gladstone and riley keough. i pulled out my phone and created a new note called “to watch” and added under the bridge to the list. last night, when i finally perched on my couch after a long laptop-y day of interviewing and writing and novel-querying, i decided to give the show a shot. i should’ve known anything those two women are a part of would be excellent, but if you like a mystery, or complicated family dynamics, or stories about how shitty it can be to be a teenager who doesn’t fit in, let me tell you: this show is right up your alley. i watched two episodes back to back and then forced myself to shut it off a little after 10pm, knowing that if i got any further, i’d never go to bed.
the show is based on a true crime book that came out in 2005, about 14-year old reena virk, who went out to a party one night and never came home. the show (and the story) is harrowing, and hard to watch at times—especially if you, like me, ever felt like you didn’t fit in with the popular crowd. it takes place in 1997, but the teenage tension illustrated onscreen feels timeless. i highly recommend.
one thing i always keep stocked in my fridge? miso. i love the salty sweet umami flavor it lends to literally any recipe you put it in, and find myself making simple miso butter scallops (i buy the frozen ones from trader joes and/or whole foods!) at least once a week. i’m also a huge fan of this NYT cooking recipe for sheet-pan miso chicken with radishes and lime, which i make at least once a month. now, i know what you’re thinking: radishes?! but radishes are so bitter. and yes, they can be. when they’re raw. but when they’re roasted—especially in MISO BUTTER—they transform into these sweet little bites of PURE JOY. trust me, these radishes are so delish that sometimes i make them entirely on their own as a side dish, or to go with—you guessed it—scallops. this time around, i made the full recipe, chicken thighs and all, and served it atop jasmine rice. delicious, oh so easy to throw together, and—despite what some of the bitchy reviews say—a way more layered flavor profile than you’d expect for such a simple ingredient list.
after a march that was mostly spent in sweaters, i’ve been rediscovering my spring closet, which is full of brightly-colored dresses and stylish sneakers. speaking of which, i added a fun (lightly worn/secondhand!) pair to my repertoire earlier this month, and i’ve barely taken them off since. i’ve had my eye on these adidas sambas since they overtook the internet a year or so ago. seriously, i think 90% of the influencers in my feed had them, or were hawking them. as such, i held off on purchasing them for quite some time. i didn’t want to fall prey to the trend, i didn’t want to buy something just because everyone else had bought it, or wear something just because someone else was wearing them. but i kept thinking about them!
i kept thinking about how cute they’d look with all of my swingy skirts, and with my new favorite pair of cropped denim. and so i decided to compromise with myself: i’d buy them, but i’d buy them used. i set an alert on poshmark, and started scrolling. when i came upon this minty green pair for $80, i thought to myself, well, not everyone has these ones, and hit purchase. they’re a bit more if you buy ‘em full price, but i’m linking my exact color and style below! if you’re not married to this color, i’d suggest scouring poshmark (that is unless used shoes creep you out. i sprayed mine before i wore ‘em, and i only wear them with socks).
and that, friends, is where i leave you. if you like this post, it would mean the world to me if you’d hit the little heart icon, as well as consider sharing it with your network—so that the grand weekly can be seen by more people.
i have such a love / hate relationship with NYT cooking reviews
Thank you once again for the recommendations. My heart will break watching Under the Bridge. Living in western Canada, this was a very real event we knew about in both real time then through the trial. I wasn’t aware it had been made into a film. Thank you.