grand talks 02: syd wilcox on starting over
what do you do when your engagement gets called off a month before the wedding?
welcome to issue 02 of grand talks.
ICYMI, i’ve started a new monthly interview series! it’s called grand talks, and as indicated in the name, it's an interview series in which i talk to my wonderful, brilliant, so-damn-interesting friends (both offline and online!) about their lives in the form of 5 questions (plus a few fun ‘quick hits’ at the end!).
speaking of brilliant: today, we’ve got my coworker turned friend sydney wilcox.
syd and i met at my (now former) job, and hit it off instantly. she is smart and hilarious and always down to get deep. last year, syd experienced something that blew up her life: her engagement was called off just 30 days before her wedding. i’ll let syd tell you the rest in her words, but suffice it to say i am so honored that she agreed to talk to me (and you!) about the experience, and so inspired by how she has sat in the grief, moved through the struggle, and found true joy on the other side.
syd and i have spoken at length about the surprising overlap in the feelings she had around the ending of her engagement + the feelings i have around my ‘breakup’ with my college friends (psst: this is what my novel is about!). both of us felt strongly that in the immediate aftermath of the whole “my life just blew up” thing, we struggled to find resources—books, movies, instagram posts, fellow humans—that would make us feel less alone. on the one hand, you know you’re not the only one whose wedding has been called off, or whose best friends have decided you’re expendable. but when it happens to you? you feel as though you’re alone in the world, alone in your agony, alone in your how did this happen to me?
that’s why i’m so grateful that syd has shared so openly here.
as her friend, i was and am so proud of how she has picked herself up and dusted herself off. as a human with feelings, i was so moved by the words she shared below—in particular, the ways in which her friends and family carried her when she could not walk on her own.
below, i’ve asked syd to answer 5 questions about starting over. i hope you find them as insightful and inspiring as i did. i’ve got a hunch you will! plus, if you keep scrolling, you’ll see that syd was kind enough to answer a few *fun* questions too—like a quote she’s gone back to time and time again, and who she calls when she needs a pick me up (hint: it’s the same person i call!).
sydney wilcox on starting over
late last year, your engagement got called off. what can you tell us about that experience?
the experience, simply put, was horrible. 6 or 7 months later, it’s still hard to find a way to put it into words, and my feelings towards the actual event itself morph and change by the day. the TLDR of it all is: my engagement was called off 30 days before the wedding, and my life as i knew it no longer existed.
who did you lean on in the immediate aftermath? how did those people support you?
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