before we begin, a note: penny has continued to decline over the last few days. i think the end is near, and am making plans for that. i am gutted, but am starting—thanks to sessions with my therapist, and a pet grief counselor, and conversations with friends and strangers alike—to feel something a bit like peace. peace in the knowing that soon, she won’t be suffering. peace i knowing (or hoping) that her final days in her earthly body will be ones in which she feels safe, and comfortable, and loved. because she is so loved.
in meeting with beth bigler (a pet loss grief counselor i discovered via internet research a few weeks ago), i’ve garnered a few tools to help me through whatever time penny and i have left together. one of the things she suggested was to write penny a letter about her life so far. i have read this letter out loud to penny a handful of times, and while i don’t know for sure she can hear me, i hope that she has felt it—the love emanating from my recollection of all of our shared memories. it has not always been easy (often far from it), the life we have shared. but we have been in it together.
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